A while ago I came across to some online discussion about spouses wearing their husband/wife’s military rank, and even using it as a tool against other, (lower-ranking) service member’s spouses, or even worse getting their spouses’ chain of command involved in their personal problems. I was shaking my head. And I was disgusted.
Military is a choice of career. Being a soldier is an occupation. Military is a professional environment. Although not in a traditional 9-5 meaning, it still is a workplace. While military requires more from the whole family than some other jobs, the responsibility of the work itself is on the service member’s shoulders. However, still I read and hear about spouses who either hide behind the other half’s rank, or go after the chain of command for various reasons: when they have been mistreated by someone, when the spouse is having a hard time in the military with his/her peers, ….. there are spouses meeting with commanders and trying to beg another chance for a spouse who has by his/her own behavior ruined his/her military career … the list is never-ending.
My blunt, honest questions is how some people can do it? Or why they do it?
It would never, ever come to my mind to hide behind my husband’s rank. It is his career. I have my career. Furthermore, I would never accept him being involved in my professional life beyond normal collegial socialization, nor I want to be involved in his professional career – beyond the social and formal events. If he had a problem with his job or colleagues, I would tell him to go and figure it out himself. Honestly, I can’t come up with any, single reason why I would need to escalate something to his chain of command.
Maybe I am missing something but I don’t understand why some military spouses are so eager to get into other person’s job environment. My career in the corporate world started already in 1998, over a decade ago, and I have never seen spouses behaving like this – nor as a manager I would have not tolerated it.
Drama queens? Bored? What is it? If there is an explanation or theory on this, I would love to hear it.